








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 444 | 16% |
| Smokes | 771 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 643 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 861 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,693 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOFF | 68% | 57 |
| #2 | atte | 63% | 109 |
| #3 | Melooni | 62% | 109 |
| #4 | EKstrs | 61% | 109 |
| #5 | jacka | 59% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | atte | 63% | 109 |
| #3 | Melooni | 62% | 109 |
| #4 | EKstrs | 61% | 109 |
| #5 | jacka | 59% | 41 |
| #6 | NervööSP | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melooni | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | EKstrs | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | NervööSP | 2 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melooni | 380 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | atte | 262 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | EKstrs | 238 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | jacka | 149 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | KOFF | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EKstrs | +4.00 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | jacka | +2.18 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | atte | +1.01 | 84 | 73 |
| #4 | Melooni | -0.16 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | NervööSP | -2.22 | 65 | 65 |





