








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2938 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2747 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2230 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2499 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,754,479 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 956 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plumpk1n | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | 48% | 128 |
| #3 | r3mote | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | siɱБa | 44% | 88 |
| #5 | slayer | 44% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | 438 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | r3mote | 350 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | siɱБa | 328 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | slayer | 183 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ohio | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ohio | +4.31 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Way | +1.95 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | siɱБa | +1.24 | 80 | 43 |
| #4 | plumpk1n | +0.81 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | Illegal Mustard Dealer | +0.53 | 41 | 78 |





