








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 402 | 29% |
| Smokes | 374 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 252 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 361 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $148,725 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reaz | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ✪ Zephyor! | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | pouet pouet | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | sjo | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sjo | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | 38% | 13 |
| #7 | NaY | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Arkenos | 20% | 5 |
| #9 | XiMaa | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | 7 | 0.0263 |
| #2 | sjo | 6 | 0.0426 |
| #3 | pouet pouet | 5 | 0.0365 |
| #4 | Polo l'abricot | 3 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | NaY | 3 | 0.0405 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | 68 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | sjo | 46 | 0.33 | 0 min |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ Zephyor! | 20 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #5 | Reaz | 16 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | +4.24 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | sjo | +2.18 | 86 | 23 |
| #3 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | +1.41 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | NaY | +1.22 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪ Zephyor! | +1.08 | 86 | 74 |





