








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 934 | 30% |
| Smokes | 951 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 522 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 741 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,653 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...


| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() k. | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | JULIO | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | XiMaa | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | sjo | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | C-L-3-M | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | neirdA | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | Arkenos | 25% | 8 |
| #10 | Nobody | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | MPNUEVE | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjo | 10 | 0.0193 |
| #2 | neirdA | 7 | 0.0277 |
| #3 | pouet pouet | 7 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | Polo l'abricot | 3 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | Arkenos | 2 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sjo | 134 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | ![]() k. | 27 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Arkenos | 25 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | JULIO | 25 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nobody | 25 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | +5.64 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | Rev♿L Seek TEAM | +2.40 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | ![]() k. | +1.56 | 91 | 84 |
| #4 | sjo | +1.03 | 83 | 35 |
| #5 | MPNUEVE | +0.24 | 71 | 68 |






