








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6076 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7580 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5353 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5987 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,623 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | 64% | 74 |
| #2 | MouldyLunchBox | 63% | 43 |
| #3 | LOST | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | DrCock | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | lemowel | 48% | 307 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LOST | 57% | 88 |
| #4 | DrCock | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | lemowel | 48% | 307 |
| #6 | ky1e | 48% | 44 |
| #7 | Swan | 47% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemowel | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Swan | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | DrCock | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | howl | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | LOST | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemowel | 902 | 0.14 | 25 min |
| #2 | Swan | 701 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | howl | 320 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | LOST | 270 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | ky1e | 139 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | howl | +3.63 | 77 | 78 |
| #2 | lemowel | +1.34 | 82 | 59 |
| #3 | DrCock | +0.43 | 71 | 58 |
| #4 | MouldyLunchBox | +0.43 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | ky1e | -0.17 | 74 | 67 |





