








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 45 | 4% |
| Smokes | 348 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 449 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,897 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kave_in | 45% | 74 |
| #2 | TheGreySeawolf | 44% | 43 |
| #3 | Beatboxbandit | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | GrandPa(nda) | 39% | 75 |
| #5 | Reyicel | 38% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TheGreySeawolf | 44% | 43 |
| #3 | Beatboxbandit | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | GrandPa(nda) | 39% | 75 |
| #5 | Reyicel | 38% | 72 |
| #6 | Saviner | 32% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrandPa(nda) | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Reyicel | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Kave_in | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | TheGreySeawolf | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Beatboxbandit | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyicel | 551 | 0.37 | 15 min |
| #2 | GrandPa(nda) | 195 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kave_in | 96 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | TheGreySeawolf | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Beatboxbandit | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kave_in | +4.04 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Reyicel | +3.97 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | Beatboxbandit | +0.38 | 44 | 51 |
| #4 | GrandPa(nda) | -1.20 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | TheGreySeawolf | -2.36 | 39 | 58 |





