








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2206 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2476 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1803 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1606 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,472 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beatboxbandit | 51% | 105 |
| #2 | Ace | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | JSuss | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | Kave_in | 49% | 232 |
| #5 | TheGreySeawolf | 48% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kave_in | 49% | 232 |
| #5 | TheGreySeawolf | 48% | 174 |
| #6 | Saviner | 47% | 154 |
| #7 | Reyicel | 47% | 225 |
| #8 | Yueker | 39% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyicel | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | TheGreySeawolf | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Kave_in | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Saviner | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Yueker | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyicel | 1757 | 0.37 | 46 min |
| #2 | Kave_in | 310 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | TheGreySeawolf | 260 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Beatboxbandit | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | JSuss | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kave_in | +3.28 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | Reyicel | +3.18 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | JSuss | +0.72 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | Ace | -0.03 | 44 | 62 |
| #5 | Beatboxbandit | -0.68 | 47 | 55 |





