








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 898 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4987 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3915 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3344 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3036 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,874 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JSuss | 51% | 37 |
| #2 | Kave_in | 50% | 231 |
| #3 | Beatboxbandit | 50% | 106 |
| #4 | TheGreySeawolf | 48% | 153 |
| #5 | Saviner | 48% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TheGreySeawolf | 48% | 153 |
| #5 | Saviner | 48% | 147 |
| #6 | Ace | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | GrandPa(nda) | 47% | 225 |
| #8 | Yueker | 38% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrandPa(nda) | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | TheGreySeawolf | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Saviner | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Kave_in | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | JSuss | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrandPa(nda) | 443 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kave_in | 288 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | Beatboxbandit | 207 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | TheGreySeawolf | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | JSuss | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reyicel | +3.04 | 67 | 70 |
| #2 | Kave_in | +2.93 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | JSuss | +0.59 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | Beatboxbandit | -0.64 | 49 | 55 |
| #5 | GrandPa(nda) | -1.44 | 71 | 58 |





