








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 21% |
| Smokes | 471 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 286 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,430 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aut0 | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Quinn :) | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | BaldingDemon | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Thot Patrol | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Noname | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Noname | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Gryph | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | sammy_boy | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | Blue Boy | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | enquest | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaldingDemon | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Quinn :) | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 75 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | sammy_boy | 38 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Quinn :) | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | enquest | 27 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blue Boy | 24 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +1.49 | 79 | 34 |
| #2 | sammy_boy | +0.73 | 62 | 56 |
| #3 | enquest | +0.55 | 62 | 53 |
| #4 | aut0 | +0.49 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | Quinn :) | -0.25 | 77 | 76 |





