








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2801 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2292 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1937 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1930 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,244 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astonex | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | exie | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | exie v2 | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | James.uK | 52% | 186 |
| #5 | Struck | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | James.uK | 52% | 186 |
| #5 | Struck | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | miSm | 49% | 111 |
| #7 | Chance | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | t0m.uk | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miSm | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | James.uK | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Chance | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James.uK | 1002 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | miSm | 379 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | t0m.uk | 180 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Struck | 167 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | exie | 152 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James.uK | +2.44 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | exie | +2.40 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | astonex | +0.85 | 88 | 72 |
| #4 | exie v2 | +0.03 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | miSm | -0.19 | 73 | 71 |





