








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 468 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6078 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9345 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9201 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9064 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8204 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,675 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiNjA-_- | 60% | 75 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 54% | 218 |
| #3 | K4 | 50% | 754 |
| #4 | ed3n | 49% | 215 |
| #5 | Billo Beutlin | 49% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Billo Beutlin | 49% | 242 |
| #6 | Dropex | 47% | 49 |
| #7 | ckkk | 47% | 79 |
| #8 | KriZ | 47% | 141 |
| #9 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 46% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K4 | 42 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | KriZ | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ed3n | 12 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K4 | 1863 | 0.12 | 46 min |
| #2 | ed3n | 1312 | 0.29 | 33 min |
| #3 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 625 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Billo Beutlin | 585 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #5 | KriZ | 409 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriZ | +2.71 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | +1.50 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | NiNjA-_- | +1.15 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | K4 | +0.72 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Pendrogami | -0.15 | 59 | 61 |





