








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 655 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10224 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8483 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7143 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6205 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,977,896 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 830 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiNjA-_- | 56% | 106 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 54% | 280 |
| #3 | ckkk | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | Pendrogami | 50% | 754 |
| #5 | Dropex | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dropex | 49% | 61 |
| #6 | ed3n | 48% | 336 |
| #7 | KriZ | 48% | 180 |
| #8 | Billo Beutlin | 47% | 349 |
| #9 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 47% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pendrogami | 59 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ed3n | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 20 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | KriZ | 18 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 15 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pendrogami | 2496 | 0.16 | 52 min |
| #2 | ed3n | 2041 | 0.29 | 53 min |
| #3 | Billo Beutlin | 882 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #4 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 715 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #5 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 541 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriZ | +2.91 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | +1.42 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | NiNjA-_- | +1.09 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | K4 | +0.79 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | ed3n | +0.03 | 65 | 67 |





