








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1914 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3065 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2059 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1679 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,793 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiNjA-_- | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | ckkk | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 51% | 106 |
| #4 | ed3n | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | n0bby | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | n0bby | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | K4 | 48% | 180 |
| #7 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | Pendrogami | 47% | 141 |
| #9 | Billo Beutlin | 44% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pendrogami | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | K4 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Billo Beutlin | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ed3n | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed3n | 488 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | Pendrogami | 455 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | K4 | 418 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Billo Beutlin | 214 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 196 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriZ | +2.74 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | NiNjA-_- | +0.60 | 83 | 55 |
| #3 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | +0.48 | 65 | 65 |
| #4 | K4 | -0.00 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | ckkk | -0.80 | 70 | 56 |





