








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 434 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,573 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5202 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3982 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4802 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3587 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,090,742 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 50% | 104 |
| #2 | ckkk | 50% | 182 |
| #3 | Pendrogami | 49% | 242 |
| #4 | K4 | 47% | 349 |
| #5 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 46% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K4 | 26 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | ed3n | 26 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Pendrogami | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | KriZ | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ed3n | 2040 | 0.28 | 53 min |
| #2 | K4 | 901 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #3 | Pendrogami | 822 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | ckkk | 472 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | ✪ Pothead-iwnl- | 343 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriZ | +2.77 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | NiNjA-_- | +1.67 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | +1.02 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | K4 | +0.69 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | n0bby | +0.54 | 59 | 56 |





