








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3743 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3743 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2543 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,881 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiNjA-_- | 71% | 41 |
| #2 | Hдuьtmдии SCHWARZHAUT | 62% | 63 |
| #3 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 60% | 109 |
| #4 | 420_Dobby | 58% | 77 |
| #5 | ed3n | 52% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KriZ | 47% | 49 |
| #8 | Billo Beutlin | 46% | 125 |
| #9 | Pendrogami | 46% | 257 |
| #10 | Dropex | 46% | 50 |
| #11 | ckkk | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pendrogami | 24 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | K4 | 22 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ed3n | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | KriZ | 6 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pendrogami | 930 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | K4 | 810 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | ed3n | 526 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #4 | Billo Beutlin | 330 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | 420_Dobby | 242 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriZ | +4.08 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | .Mjölnir@@¯\ (ツ) /¯ | +2.19 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | NiNjA-_- | +1.80 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | K4 | +1.59 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | Hдuьtmдии SCHWARZHAUT | +1.26 | 74 | 62 |





