








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3408 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5766 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3219 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2696 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,194 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neoN ⛴ | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | MiruD | 58% | 151 |
| #3 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 57% | 100 |
| #4 | rico | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | Addi ♡ | 56% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Jörn ⛟ | 45% | 86 |
| #15 | fidel-_- | 43% | 28 |
| #16 | famke | 42% | 33 |
| #17 | FataL | 40% | 72 |
| #18 | twitch.tv/tvorbital | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | TPS | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Addi ♡ | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | MiruD | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Jörn ⛟ | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TPS | 688 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | MiruD | 666 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | Addi ♡ | 336 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | FataL | 331 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 296 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FataL | +2.69 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | +2.21 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | TPS | +1.02 | 72 | 78 |
| #4 | neoN ⛴ | +0.95 | 69 | 78 |
| #5 | W | +0.91 | 80 | 65 |





