








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1578 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1542 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2779 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1416 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,538 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arnulfo | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | ^ N u i # . _ | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | neoN ⛴ | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | TPS | 62% | 76 |
| #5 | MiruD | 59% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sy | 54% | 13 |
| #10 | rico | 47% | 19 |
| #11 | R0biNbLy4t | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | Jörn ⛟ | 45% | 40 |
| #13 | Diddily | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Jymm! ◉ ͟ʖ ◉ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | TPS | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | MiruD | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Jörn ⛟ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jymm! ◉ ͟ʖ ◉ | 442 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | MiruD | 366 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | TPS | 266 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 206 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | neoN ⛴ | 161 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | +2.47 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | Arnulfo | +2.13 | 90 | 74 |
| #3 | Jörn ⛟ | +1.51 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | neoN ⛴ | +1.23 | 71 | 78 |
| #5 | Addi ♡ | +0.99 | 80 | 58 |





