








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8504 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5654 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5655 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5746 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,182 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | MiruD | 64% | 77 |
| #3 | Addi ♡ | 62% | 76 |
| #4 | Adze | 58% | 53 |
| #5 | neoN ⛴ | 58% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | sL.x | 53% | 30 |
| #11 | Jörn ⛟ | 48% | 102 |
| #12 | Liquidline | 48% | 84 |
| #13 | lil' luesi | 45% | 80 |
| #14 | Hakuna.#<3 | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liquidline | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Jymm! ◉ ͟ʖ ◉ | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Jörn ⛟ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Addi ♡ | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jymm! ◉ ͟ʖ ◉ | 562 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | MiruD | 358 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | 298 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hakuna.#<3 | 251 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jörn ⛟ | 243 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saiyajin HomerLadiesMan | +2.55 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | TPS | +1.28 | 73 | 76 |
| #3 | neoN ⛴ | +1.00 | 69 | 83 |
| #4 | Addi ♡ | +0.83 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Hakuna.#<3 | +0.65 | 74 | 68 |





