








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
719 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 638 | 21% |
| Smokes | 979 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 669 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $47,264 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pluneto | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Fowlz | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | sen | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | newhope | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | ExisteNce010 | 67% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DiSeReCt | 57% | 28 |
| #9 | mommy | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | BrianvanWessel | 55% | 22 |
| #11 | urwun | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | warrior | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flare | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | BrianvanWessel | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | warrior | 1 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Fowlz | 1 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExisteNce010 | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Flare | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | BrianvanWessel | 73 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | DiSeReCt | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | sen | 30 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | newhope | +3.15 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | Fowlz | +2.96 | 95 | 72 |
| #3 | DiSeReCt | +2.25 | 90 | 51 |
| #4 | urwun | +1.93 | 86 | 72 |
| #5 | J1mmyEgg | +1.56 | 82 | 73 |





