








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 955 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 366 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9422 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9102 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4788 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6300 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,927 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 977 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mommy | 69% | 39 |
| #2 | beastly | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | ALOppAA | 63% | 115 |
| #4 | DiSeReCt | 61% | 54 |
| #5 | FSN | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jlow | 58% | 127 |
| #7 | ExisteNce010 | 57% | 153 |
| #8 | LOLWUZ™ | 55% | 115 |
| #9 | Blushue | 46% | 82 |
| #10 | 𝔽𝟙𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪𝕫 | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blushue | 22 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | LOLWUZ™ | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Jlow | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ExisteNce010 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | ALOppAA | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExisteNce010 | 494 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | ALOppAA | 447 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jlow | 330 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | FSN | 306 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | beastly | 246 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flare | +2.56 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | DiSeReCt | +1.95 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | 𝔽𝟙𝕒𝕗𝕗𝕪𝕫 | +1.85 | 91 | 62 |
| #4 | ALOppAA | +0.91 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | Jlow | +0.76 | 76 | 68 |





