








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 379 | 32% |
| Smokes | 306 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 186 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,216 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | warrior | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ✪ Bart | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | FSN | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | ALOppAA | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | ExisteNce010 | 63% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DiSeReCt | 58% | 31 |
| #9 | J1mmyEgg | 55% | 22 |
| #10 | urwun | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | mikejuu | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | 4dapse | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flare | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ExisteNce010 | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Flare | 79 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | J1mmyEgg | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | DiSeReCt | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | urwun | 20 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALOppAA | +8.82 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | FSN | +2.92 | 92 | 68 |
| #3 | mommy | +2.22 | 87 | 44 |
| #4 | urwun | +1.93 | 86 | 72 |
| #5 | ✪ Bart | +1.83 | 65 | 69 |





