








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 581 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,479 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1164 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3039 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1797 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,168,133 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 53% | 87 |
| #2 | AzzaR179 | 50% | 131 |
| #3 | LUM | 49% | 69 |
| #4 | Liam [95th] | 49% | 191 |
| #5 | Roadman Formless | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liam [95th] | 63 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Blizzard | 17 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | LUM | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Roadman Formless | 12 | 0.0225 |
| #5 | AzzaR179 | 11 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Liam [95th] | 588 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | LUM | 389 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #3 | AzzaR179 | 203 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Blizzard | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Roadman Formless | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |





