








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 534 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




140 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4346 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6937 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 4018 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,289,461 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mons | 51% | 393 |
| #2 | Tinytombomb | 49% | 515 |
| #3 | MagicJohnson | 48% | 135 |
| #4 | Scarecrow | 47% | 143 |
| #5 | Oof ow my Spine | 45% | 360 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinytombomb | 66 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Mons | 37 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Scarecrow | 22 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | KottaGO | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Oof ow my Spine | 14 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinytombomb | 1563 | 0.14 | 39 min |
| #2 | Mons | 1022 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | KottaGO | 630 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #4 | Oof ow my Spine | 534 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #5 | desktopketamine | 332 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinytombomb | +2.21 | 53 | 76 |
| #2 | Mons | +1.07 | 49 | 69 |
| #3 | desktopketamine | +0.80 | 53 | 56 |
| #4 | MagicJohnson | +0.49 | 53 | 41 |
| #5 | Caesar Salad | +0.49 | 46 | 59 |





