










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2350 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2146 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4793 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2405 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,355 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ab0rt | 47% | 357 |
| #6 | Gouranga | 46% | 124 |
| #7 | ColdToiletSeats | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | play2k | 39% | 133 |
| #9 | Medusa | 38% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | play2k | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Gouranga | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ab0rt | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | nahcarts | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonarsen | 553 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | WHALE_PIGEON | 393 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | nahcarts | 318 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | play2k | 226 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Medusa | 217 | 0.14 | 5 min |





