










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,589 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2402 | 8% |
| Smokes | 7522 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10242 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 8423 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,542,844 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | 59% | 548 |
| #2 | ColdToiletSeats | 56% | 269 |
| #3 | jonarsen | 55% | 259 |
| #4 | KOALA_SHEEP | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | Gouranga | 54% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gouranga | 54% | 290 |
| #6 | nahcarts | 52% | 218 |
| #7 | werdna | 47% | 357 |
| #8 | Medusa | 47% | 234 |
| #9 | play2k | 42% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gouranga | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | WHALE_PIGEON | 13 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Medusa | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | play2k | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | werdna | 7 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | 1240 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | jonarsen | 882 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #3 | Medusa | 682 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | ColdToiletSeats | 664 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #5 | nahcarts | 528 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | +4.10 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | ab0rt | +2.18 | 74 | 48 |
| #3 | nahcarts | +0.05 | 71 | 75 |
| #4 | ColdToiletSeats | -0.28 | 62 | 80 |
| #5 | jonarsen | -0.52 | 71 | 71 |





