








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4307 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6347 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7206 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7458 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,850,255 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | 65% | 214 |
| #2 | ColdToiletSeats | 63% | 67 |
| #3 | nahcarts | 55% | 95 |
| #4 | ab0rt | 54% | 290 |
| #5 | jonarsen | 54% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ab0rt | 54% | 290 |
| #5 | jonarsen | 54% | 112 |
| #6 | werdna | 46% | 124 |
| #7 | Medusa | 46% | 59 |
| #8 | play2k | 40% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ab0rt | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | nahcarts | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | werdna | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | jonarsen | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | 502 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | jonarsen | 406 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | nahcarts | 281 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Medusa | 195 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | ColdToiletSeats | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHALE_PIGEON | +5.64 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | ab0rt | +2.61 | 75 | 47 |
| #3 | nahcarts | +0.66 | 74 | 76 |
| #4 | ColdToiletSeats | +0.63 | 58 | 82 |
| #5 | jonarsen | -0.79 | 72 | 72 |





