








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1560 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1745 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1469 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1549 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,406 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 900 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyHuB | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Skinnybitcher | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | yur1 tarded | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | RichterTV | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Kiwi | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | VanDracul | 35% | 37 |
| #11 | Luffy | 33% | 9 |
| #12 | Kapten Ståfräs | 30% | 23 |
| #13 | 1337 ʜ4x0ʀ.ᴇxᴇ | 30% | 10 |
| #14 | Ms Bugsy | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperBad | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Bugsy77 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | FieldForest | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | VanDracul | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Kapten Ståfräs | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperBad | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kiwi | 87 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | SexyHuB | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bugsy77 | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kapten Ståfräs | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperBad | +2.61 | 58 | 62 |
| #2 | Trexxare | +2.08 | 46 | 66 |
| #3 | Kiwi | +1.80 | 48 | 66 |
| #4 | yur1 tarded | +1.36 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Luffy | +1.13 | 35 | 53 |





