








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,405 | |
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1767 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3274 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3289 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4827 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,543,666 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KelvinKleinAbuser | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Spinach | 51% | 150 |
| #3 | Luffy | 45% | 49 |
| #4 | yur1 tarded | 40% | 42 |
| #5 | SuperBad | 40% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SuperBad | 40% | 83 |
| #6 | VanDracul | 38% | 68 |
| #7 | Skinnybitcher | 37% | 30 |
| #8 | Trexxare | 37% | 41 |
| #9 | Bugsy77 | 35% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinach | 18 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | KelvinKleinAbuser | 8 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | SuperBad | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | VanDracul | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Bugsy77 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinach | 352 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | SuperBad | 134 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Trexxare | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | KelvinKleinAbuser | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | VanDracul | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KelvinKleinAbuser | +5.04 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | SuperBad | +3.36 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | Trexxare | +3.06 | 47 | 68 |
| #4 | yur1 tarded | +1.84 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | Luffy | +1.38 | 37 | 54 |





