










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1651 | 37% |
| Smokes | 956 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 780 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $568,791 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asad | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | femboy | 65% | 43 |
| #3 | LemonMoose | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | misschf29 | 60% | 30 |
| #5 | pearit | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Mouse6162142 | 14 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | femboy | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | CumOnTits | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | pearit | 4 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | 232 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | MuscleRelaxerDan | 147 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | femboy | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | CumOnTits | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | LemonMoose | 70 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mouse6162142 | +6.82 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | femboy | +3.96 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | LemonMoose | +2.60 | 81 | 35 |
| #4 | Asad | +2.51 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | misschf29 | +2.13 | 63 | 50 |





