








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 208 | 33% |
| Smokes | 201 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 67 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $97,664 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScRaSh | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Sandić | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | .wyne666 | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Gaybob Fagpants | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | SpeaR | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gaybob Fagpants | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | SpeaR | 36% | 28 |
| #6 | ✪ HENIOOO | 30% | 23 |
| #7 | Byro | 29% | 21 |
| #8 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 12 | 0.0215 |
| #2 | Sandić | 6 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | ✪ HENIOOO | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Byro | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 65 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Gaybob Fagpants | 57 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Byro | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | ✪ HENIOOO | 46 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sandić | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | +7.57 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | .wyne666 | +3.91 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | ScRaSh | +2.04 | 86 | 76 |
| #4 | Sandić | -0.21 | 81 | 40 |
| #5 | First Lieutenant KnuT | -1.27 | 70 | 48 |





