








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 42% |
| Smokes | 237 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 440 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $441,196 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >? | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | ✪ HENIOOO | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | ScRaSh | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | Gaybob Fagpants | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Byro | 60% | 65 |
| #7 | SpeaR | 59% | 109 |
| #8 | AndreH2O | 47% | 19 |
| #9 | ZeZakツ | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | First Lieutenant KnuT | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 32 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | | 12 | 0.0340 |
| #3 | AndreH2O | 8 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | ✪ HENIOOO | 8 | 0.0257 |
| #5 | ZeZakツ | 7 | 0.0321 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | 290 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Byro | 131 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gaybob Fagpants | 75 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ HENIOOO | 59 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | ZeZakツ | 47 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpeaR | +9.03 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | >? | +5.11 | 84 | 49 |
| #3 | Sandić | -0.20 | 74 | 40 |
| #4 | Gaybob Fagpants | -0.54 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | ScRaSh | -0.62 | 73 | 66 |





