








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2278 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2741 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2574 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2728 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $893,232 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EsO* | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | $ilverbacK | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | doH! | 60% | 55 |
| #4 | 80HD Jacker | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | atheoo | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Wolvie | 53% | 45 |
| #9 | Gav | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | DAN | 48% | 99 |
| #11 | Яevealz | 39% | 51 |
| #12 | ''Zodiak. | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Catfish Billy | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | DAN | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | EsO* | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | panzer | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | doH! | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAN | 322 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Catfish Billy | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Wolvie | 147 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | doH! | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | 80HD Jacker | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolvie | +2.38 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | 80HD Jacker | +2.00 | 46 | 68 |
| #3 | DAN | +1.80 | 50 | 74 |
| #4 | atheoo | +1.41 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | Catfish Billy | +0.89 | 86 | 51 |





