








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5213 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6890 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5096 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5619 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,400,927 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolvie | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | Mahon3y | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | Slaimroks | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | Catfish Billy | 53% | 99 |
| #5 | doH! | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Catfish Billy | 53% | 99 |
| #5 | doH! | 52% | 81 |
| #6 | DAN | 51% | 41 |
| #7 | Яevealz | 51% | 92 |
| #8 | ''Zodiak. | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Catfish Billy | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Яevealz | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Mahon3y | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | doH! | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ''Zodiak. | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mahon3y | 266 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | doH! | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Catfish Billy | 156 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | DAN | 133 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wolvie | 120 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolvie | +2.54 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | 80HD Jacker | +1.64 | 48 | 66 |
| #3 | Catfish Billy | +1.49 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | Mahon3y | +1.35 | 77 | 68 |
| #5 | Slaimroks | +0.28 | 50 | 57 |





