








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 278 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2797 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3644 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3025 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3508 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,542,634 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolvie | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | bwones | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Gav | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Nozza | 55% | 99 |
| #5 | atheoo | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | EsO* | 51% | 53 |
| #8 | doH! | 50% | 179 |
| #9 | Яevealz | 47% | 309 |
| #10 | DAN | 46% | 97 |
| #11 | ''Zodiak. | 41% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Яevealz | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | atheoo | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | EsO* | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | DAN | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ''Zodiak. | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doH! | 406 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | DAN | 290 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Wolvie | 290 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | 80HD Jacker | 289 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Яevealz | 257 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atheoo | +4.00 | 63 | 61 |
| #2 | Wolvie | +3.86 | 67 | 65 |
| #3 | DAN | +1.94 | 43 | 73 |
| #4 | 80HD Jacker | +1.44 | 45 | 61 |
| #5 | Catfish Billy | +1.22 | 79 | 56 |





