








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 240 matches | ||
| Faceit | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4501 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3500 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3932 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4291 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3113 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,120 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phear Mowberg | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | smyger på yard | 70% | 33 |
| #3 | Ång-lokeT:-) | 68% | 25 |
| #4 | Edwardowiic | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | Sugoi | 65% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Baab_martz | 52% | 261 |
| #10 | BINGUSFAN123 | 52% | 31 |
| #11 | Filipias | 51% | 61 |
| #12 | Pink | 50% | 36 |
| #13 | Lellelelele ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 42% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbfan | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Wok Pan | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Baab_martz | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Filipias | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | gay swedish guy | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baab_martz | 1074 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #2 | gay swedish guy | 599 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Wok Pan | 536 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | Gubbfan | 454 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | Sugoi | 325 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mok | +2.40 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | Sugoi | +2.37 | 62 | 79 |
| #3 | gay swedish guy | +2.04 | 87 | 69 |
| #4 | Edwardowiic | +1.62 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Baab_martz | +0.55 | 78 | 82 |





