








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2120 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2061 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2487 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1933 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,695 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | strale | 54% | 26 |
| #15 | Kessali | 50% | 16 |
| #16 | D3TeX | 50% | 38 |
| #17 | Deatheriin | 42% | 24 |
| #18 | jax. | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phear Mowberg | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Edwardowiic | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Ång-lokeT:-) | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | D3TeX | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jax. | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edwardowiic | 217 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mok | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Phear Mowberg | 141 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ång-lokeT:-) | 135 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 107 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sugoi | +2.14 | 63 | 76 |
| #2 | Edwardowiic | +1.50 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | D3TeX | +1.20 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | Mok | +0.97 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | smyger på yard | +0.90 | 74 | 53 |





