








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 762 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1049 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1343 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,652 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BINGUSFAN123 | 45% | 20 |
| #8 | Baab_martz | 44% | 108 |
| #9 | Mok | 42% | 73 |
| #10 | Gubbfan | 41% | 59 |
| #11 | Wok Pan | 40% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubbfan | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Mok | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Baab_martz | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Wok Pan | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | BINGUSFAN123 | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baab_martz | 445 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Wok Pan | 231 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gubbfan | 188 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | gay swedish guy | 165 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mok | 126 | 0.08 | 4 min |





