








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 731 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,565 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4256 | 18% |
| Smokes | 7627 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6218 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5763 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,699,144 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1040 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hillo | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | Megaman | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | gizze | 52% | 310 |
| #4 | `cuRRe- | 51% | 146 |
| #5 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 51% | 552 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peta | 1262 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #2 | gizze | 564 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 457 | 0.04 | 12 min |
| #4 | Andersson | 358 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | LPE | 340 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugo | +1.79 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | hillo | +1.61 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | gizze | +0.36 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | peta | -0.03 | 69 | 82 |
| #5 | ElTaco | -0.24 | 46 | 60 |





