








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4284 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3827 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3626 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2847 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,854 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | bajsolle | 47% | 17 |
| #16 | Hugo | 47% | 102 |
| #17 | e-snok | 45% | 51 |
| #18 | `cuRRe- | 45% | 20 |
| #19 | gizze | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peta | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Coltrasten | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bajsolle | 5 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | göran | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Megaman | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peta | 482 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Coltrasten | 214 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hugo | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 108 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Papi | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |





