








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 733 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 625 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,759 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4851 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5372 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5862 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6871 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,646,246 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | gizze | 46% | 211 |
| #10 | Danne | 46% | 93 |
| #11 | hillo | 45% | 44 |
| #12 | Megaman | 42% | 53 |
| #13 | Andersson | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | peta | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Hugo | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | gizze | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | LPE | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peta | 825 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #2 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 429 | 0.04 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hugo | 371 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | gizze | 357 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #5 | LPE | 237 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeahstar | +1.70 | 68 | 82 |
| #2 | Hugo | +1.58 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | hillo | +0.68 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | gizze | +0.33 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | Andersson | +0.27 | 63 | 82 |





