








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,556 | |
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 104 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10499 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9352 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10562 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8690 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,633,406 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1662 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | yeahstar | 49% | 53 |
| #13 | gizze | 48% | 213 |
| #14 | ElTaco | 48% | 111 |
| #15 | Andersson | 46% | 93 |
| #16 | jackejacuzzi | 42% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulver | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | laxen | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | gizze | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Andersson | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pulver | 480 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Andersson | 437 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | ♛ v0gga ♛ | 424 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | gizze | 409 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | peta | 398 | 0.24 | 11 min |





