








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1733 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1288 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1905 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1591 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,293,079 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ich bin Noah | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | La Flama Blanca | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | Perplex | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | ✪Vestr0 | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Jean-Bernie | 34% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Perplex | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | ✪Vestr0 | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Jean-Bernie | 34% | 56 |
| #6 | Silaise | 26% | 38 |
| #7 | ForeverStun | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Flama Blanca | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Jean-Bernie | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Silaise | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ForeverStun | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ✪Vestr0 | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Flama Blanca | 198 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪Vestr0 | 111 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ich bin Noah | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ForeverStun | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jean-Bernie | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | La Flama Blanca | +1.27 | 81 | 56 |
| #2 | Ich bin Noah | +0.67 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | A Silly Raccoon | +0.01 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Perplex | -0.57 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | ✪Vestr0 | -0.87 | 38 | 76 |





