








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 625 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2648 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3209 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1214 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $890,204 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonjon | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Vittrar | 54% | 122 |
| #3 | Hemulen | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Sniper Man | 53% | 238 |
| #5 | Livet | 51% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | contra | 49% | 172 |
| #8 | haddock | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | priest | 47% | 155 |
| #10 | Farsan | 47% | 190 |
| #11 | Little John | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farsan | 32 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Livet | 26 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Sniper Man | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Vittrar | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | haddock | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Livet | 1548 | 0.30 | 53 min |
| #2 | Farsan | 560 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | Sniper Man | 421 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | priest | 299 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Frantic_Lamb | 204 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doppe | +2.53 | 75 | 44 |
| #2 | Jonjon | +2.47 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | contra | +1.26 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | Livet | +0.69 | 67 | 83 |
| #5 | Sniper Man | +0.65 | 54 | 60 |





