








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 391 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2974 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5118 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3967 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3807 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,066,175 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonjon | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Doppe | 53% | 238 |
| #3 | Keffo | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Livet | 51% | 285 |
| #5 | Hemulen | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farsan | 33 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Livet | 23 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Doppe | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Keffo | 17 | 0.0205 |
| #5 | Vittrar | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Livet | 1723 | 0.28 | 61 min |
| #2 | Farsan | 697 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #3 | priest | 459 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #4 | Frantic_Lamb | 321 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Vittrar | 181 | 0.07 | 5 min |





