








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 523 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 394 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8055 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6968 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5385 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6012 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,442 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonjon | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Keffo | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | Hemulen | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | haddock | 52% | 77 |
| #5 | Doppe | 51% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | priest | 50% | 235 |
| #8 | Frantic_Lamb | 49% | 203 |
| #9 | Vittrar | 48% | 130 |
| #10 | contra | 48% | 207 |
| #11 | Farsan | 48% | 261 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farsan | 33 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Doppe | 30 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Keffo | 14 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | Sniper Man | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Vittrar | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farsan | 610 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | priest | 465 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Sniper Man | 464 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Frantic_Lamb | 287 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Vittrar | 195 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonjon | +3.96 | 80 | 78 |
| #2 | Doppe | +2.79 | 75 | 42 |
| #3 | Keffo | +2.66 | 75 | 44 |
| #4 | contra | +1.69 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | Sniper Man | +0.73 | 53 | 60 |





