








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3646 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4453 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4328 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4592 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,453 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonjon | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Livet | 50% | 235 |
| #3 | Frantic_Lamb | 50% | 140 |
| #4 | Sniper Man | 49% | 217 |
| #5 | Keffo | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Doppe | 47% | 155 |
| #8 | Farsan | 47% | 187 |
| #9 | contra | 45% | 165 |
| #10 | haddock | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | Vittrar | 37% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farsan | 22 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Livet | 20 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Doppe | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Keffo | 11 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | Sniper Man | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Livet | 1393 | 0.27 | 46 min |
| #2 | Farsan | 496 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Sniper Man | 362 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Frantic_Lamb | 222 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jonjon | 140 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonjon | +4.06 | 81 | 80 |
| #2 | contra | +2.27 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Doppe | +2.12 | 76 | 45 |
| #4 | Little John | +1.11 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | Livet | +0.80 | 65 | 83 |





