








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2086 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2282 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2662 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,617,771 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fragman | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 54% | 187 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 53% | 160 |
| #4 | John Jiggle | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | globin | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fragman | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 54% | 187 |
| #3 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 53% | 160 |
| #4 | John Jiggle | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | globin | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | John Jiggle | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | globin | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | fragman | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | 612 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | 518 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | globin | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | fragman | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | John Jiggle | 12 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fragman | +3.08 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | 𝖇𝖚𝖋𝖋𝖞 | +1.67 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 | +0.74 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | globin | -0.25 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | John Jiggle | -1.00 | 68 | 35 |





