








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1203 | 37% |
| Smokes | 537 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 969 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 551 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,163 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | givER | 39% | 101 |
| #3 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | 36% | 122 |
| #5 | Methed Moms | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 38% | 26 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | 36% | 122 |
| #5 | Methed Moms | 33% | 27 |
| #6 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 25% | 12 |
| #7 | Stan | 24% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 20 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Big Sketty Steppa | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | CarlJustANormalGuy | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Methed Moms | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Stan | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | givER | 482 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Big Sketty Steppa | 322 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Methed Moms | 287 | 0.53 | 8 min |
| #4 | PotatoePeeker TTV | 58 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | I am now Drunk, Driver of Cars | 49 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PotatoePeeker TTV | +3.34 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | CarlJustANormalGuy | +3.12 | 51 | 44 |
| #3 | givER | +1.74 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | Big Sketty Steppa | -0.21 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | Methed Moms | -0.99 | 54 | 62 |





