










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 708 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2631 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1694 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3101 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1968 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,081 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate | 51% | 216 |
| #2 | kilun | 50% | 84 |
| #3 | mefX_ | 48% | 48 |
| #4 | GrabMati | 46% | 261 |
| #5 | phylyp playin | 46% | 331 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GrabMati | 46% | 261 |
| #5 | phylyp playin | 46% | 331 |
| #6 | Jan Glin | 45% | 268 |
| #7 | docent | 39% | 173 |
| #8 | jr smith of cs | 37% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrabMati | 50 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Ultimate | 42 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | jr smith of cs | 33 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | phylyp playin | 32 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Jan Glin | 24 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate | 1276 | 0.28 | 35 min |
| #2 | phylyp playin | 736 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | GrabMati | 587 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | Jan Glin | 406 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #5 | jr smith of cs | 289 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate | +2.94 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | 那个 | +2.48 | 59 | 53 |
| #3 | mefX_ | +1.92 | 78 | 36 |
| #4 | kilun | -1.25 | 33 | 65 |
| #5 | phylyp playin | -1.34 | 50 | 56 |





