










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1472 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1917 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1055 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,271,936 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kilun | 46% | 50 |
| #2 | Ultimate | 46% | 101 |
| #3 | mefX_ | 43% | 70 |
| #4 | GrabMati | 43% | 133 |
| #5 | phylyp playin | 42% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | GrabMati | 43% | 133 |
| #5 | phylyp playin | 42% | 165 |
| #6 | Jan Glin | 39% | 121 |
| #7 | 那个 | 37% | 119 |
| #8 | docent | 35% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrabMati | 30 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | 那个 | 24 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Ultimate | 20 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | phylyp playin | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | mefX_ | 15 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate | 551 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | phylyp playin | 339 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | GrabMati | 302 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | 那个 | 229 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jan Glin | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultimate | +2.90 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | mefX_ | +2.34 | 81 | 39 |
| #3 | 那个 | +2.04 | 61 | 51 |
| #4 | GrabMati | -0.45 | 55 | 63 |
| #5 | kilun | -1.14 | 33 | 64 |





